


Go Home Alexander.

by That_Jett_Kid



Series: CGLRE-Hamilton [10]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Age Regression, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, CGLRE, Crying, Headspace, Infantilism, Little, Little!Alex, Multi, Non-Sexual Age Play, Panic Attack, but hes not little in this one its just mentioned, cgl, little!Thomas, slipping in public, thunderstoms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-08 09:50:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12861999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_Jett_Kid/pseuds/That_Jett_Kid
Summary: Alex is irritable and won't admit to himself that he's fighting little space. Thomas notices and tried to talk some sense into him. and it seems that someone else has noticed as well...orthe one in which Alexander is bad at self-help and Thomas tries to be nice.





	1. Chapter 1

How is it that whenever you want to be alone people always find ways to annoy the crap out of you. Normally in class it was always, “Shut up Hamilton” but today when he just wanted to take notes, and maybe nap in the back, it was all “Everyone tell us your opinions, Hamilton I’m sure you have something interesting to say.” 

He honestly wasn’t sure why he was so irritable. Maybe it was the many essays he had waiting at home, the fact no matter how hard he tried he only managed to get 3 hours sleep last night, or the knowledge that thunderstorms were to be expected later in the evening. Either way, he was irritable and just wanted to lie in bed and sleep for five years.

 After debating laws around voting in class, he exited the class and made his way to the library. He needed to get some study done; he just had so much work to do. He wasn’t fighting off littleness, he was fine, he was just tired. Everything was fine.

 

Annoyingly enough, his behavior didn’t go unnoticed. Thomas Jefferson furrowed his brows at Alexander’s withdrawnness. The shorter man hadn’t even tried to call Thomas out on his bullshit; he’d just half-heartedly strung together a weak argument and then hadn’t even tried to defend himself. Alexander also didn’t seem to notice Thomas’s approach after class, he’d just scooped his books up and walked right through the door. Acting as if Thomas didn't exist! This kind of behavior was unacceptable!

At first, he had intended on just storming up to Hamilton in the library and yell at him until the two got kicked out (again). But when he finally found Hamilton amongst the books he paused. Taking notice of the dark bags under the slightly glazed over eyes.

He then thought back to the man's behavior, he had seemed reluctant to speak in class, he had said some half-baked argument but nowhere near his normal chattiness opting for non-verbal cues most of the session. Like always he was chewing of things, but it was the sleeve of his sweater today and not the normal pen victim. He’d been rubbing at his eyes a fair amount and now judging by the shadows beneath them it was no surprise. He had also seemed to be struggling to focus…

What the actual fuck. Thomas blanched at the realization; Hamilton was fighting to stay in an adult headspace. Why the shit was Alexander ‘I’ll kill you if anyone finds out’ Hamilton even risking slipping into little space in public. 

 

On a normal day, Jefferson would say that this sounded like a Hamilton problem. Something that Jefferson personally didn’t care about and Hamilton could suffer for all he cares. But here’s the thing – something struck Jefferson, sympathy? Empathy? Or maybe just the memory of his own slip still too fresh in his mind for his liking. Something made his approach the worn out man and sit across from him. Something made him clear his throat to get the other man's attention. And something made him raise an eyebrow in a silent ‘are you serious’

 Hamilton looked up, the shadows under his eyes magnified by the mans reading glasses. “What the shit do you want Jefferson?”

 

 “For you to go home,” Jefferson reclines in his seat. To anyone watching the conversation, it would have seemed the southerner had said an insult of some kind.

 “Jefferson.” Hamilton took a breath before continuing, “we have discussed this before. You do not own this library and you cannot make me leave without getting yourself kicked out.”

“Hamilshit I’m trying to be nice.”

Nice! You never-“

“You very fucking clearly fighting little space. And I don't particularly think you’d want people to start gossiping how Alexander Hamilton wet his pants and started crying in the middle of the library.” 

“I have more self-control than that. I am able to function as an adult and study without somehow reverting to a child. Thank you for the concern but fuck off now.”

Jefferson clicked his tongue, pulling a face. “Yeah, Nah. As you said, neither of us own this library; so I think I’ll stay.”

 

Hamilton glared daggers and clenched his jaw. But said nothing. He directed his attention back to the book he was reading. Rolling his eyes, Jefferson pulled out his own unfinished work from his bag. The two worked in an icy silence for the approximate of an hour. Hamilton refusing to acknowledge the existence of Jefferson or the glances the annoying idiot kept throwing at him.

 

“Why the fuck do you give a shit?” Alexander asked breaking the silence, still refusing to look up from his work. Jefferson on the other hand placed his pen down and leaned across the table, an annoying habit that the southerner had was an uncomfortable amount of focus when he talked to someone, piercing eye contact and always leaning into their personal space without even realizing he was doing so. The only time he didn’t lean in was when attempting to be seen as ‘cool’ or ‘unaffected’ whatever the shit that meant. Alexander hated it.

“Honestly?” Jefferson raised an eyebrow, “ I don't really give a shot about you,” he waved a hand dismissively towards Hamilton. “You're a loudmouthed asshole with shitty opinions, you can suffer for all I care. Alex, on the other hand, I give a shit about him. He’s a kid and deserves to be happy, and as someone who h-,“ he paused, deciding how he wanted to word the next part. “ As someone how knows a kid who has gotten lost on campus before- a few times actually. I know it can really suck, for the kid that is. So I would like to prevent that from happening.”

Hamilton slowly looked up, “Maybe I’m not as irresponsible as you and not let the kid I know anywhere near campus.”

“As I’m sure you’re aware, it's not that simple sometimes. Sometimes, kids can appear out of nowhere.”

“I think you need to get better control of your kid.”

“I think you need to acknowledge that you’re not as in control of everything as you like to pretend.”

 

 Hamilton looked away, suddenly aware of eyes watching the two. He was well aware of the betting pool on when he and Jefferson would go physical on the other, in fact, he may have gotten some of his own money on the action. However, he didn’t want any noisy peers to be listening too deeply into the conversation lest they get curious about what the two were actually referring.

He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands, pushing his glasses up. God, he wished Do- Lafayette was here, out of anyone he knew Laf’ was always so good at controlling Jefferson into leaving him alone. Maddison could be helpful but most of the time the man just watched on with some form of curiosity and amusement.

“Look,” Alexander spoke in a harsh whisper, “ I’ll admit it; I am stressed out and tired and I probably haven’t eaten today – I will later though. But honestly, how am I going to function in my daily life if I can’t keep this under control?” He ran his finger through his hair, and let out a humorless laugh. “I know, that this is just some… screwed up coping mechanism – n-no offense”

 “None taken.” 

“But I-I, don't want the way I cope with things to bleed into the things I need to cope with. Does that make any sense? I just want a shred of normalcy; I know, I know that that's rich coming from me – a Latino immigrant guy who’s dating two other guys and a non-binary person. But I really do want normalcy. And here I am spilling my guts to my nemesis. this day can’t be more shit can it?”

“Hamilton.” 

“I mean if you noticed that something was wrong I must be a mess-”

“Hamilton.”

“I mean I was irritable in class but I’m always some degree of irritable. My old therapist thought I had anger issues which I can understand, obviously I don't see her anymore she was an idiot, and so condescending, did you know what she told me she said my dislike for the phantom of the opera movie was a symptom of my anxiety and that that could be fixed. I mean what utter horseshit! And don't get me started on her makeup-“ 

“Alex!”

 

Alexander started, pulled out of his rant of sorts. He blinked. His mouth hung open a little, the words dying on his tongue. He blinked again.

 

“Alexander, you need to go home and rest.” Jefferson pinched the bridge of his nose, he could feel a headache coming on. He hated trying to be nice. “Look, I heard that there’s gonna be thunderstorms soon, and I know you don't like them so just go home, get some rest and be in that little lovenest apartment of yours.”

“Okay, first of all; lovenest? And second of all; how do you know I don't like thunderstorms.”

 “You never come to class if there’s a storm and that one time we had to watch footage of one you left class. It was an educated guess.”

“I hate you.”

“Love you too babydoll.”

“I will punch you in the goddamn mouth.”

 “Wait a few more months please – I have money that we won't go physical until March.”

“Huh, I have money on February.”

“You underestimate our self-control.”

“Keep trying to baby me and whoever voted for next week will be lucky.”

“Go home.”

 

“Fuck you.” Despite the colorful wording, Alexander messily shoved his things into his bag and walked towards the door.

 

Do you ever have a moment, where you think everything is fine now? That you’re home free and everything will be sunshine and rainbows- only to have the floor ripped out from under you as you swirl into an abyss of everything going to shit. Well, Alex felt that moment quite clearly as a flash of white light flooded the windows and the booming sound of thunder rumbled above him.

 

Thomas watched in horror as he watched Alex turn towards him, eyes already looking watery, with a look of pure horror.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its stormy and burr boi cant keep his noes out of other ppls buisness

Thomas swore

 Thunder rumbled again.

 

Alex flinched violently.

 

Thinking quickly, Thomas jumped up, shoving his crap into his bag and walking towards Alex with large strides.

 

“Come on, let's go find somewhere quiet.” He placed his hand on Alex’s back. Leading him out of the library casting a nervous glance over his shoulder; no one seemed to be paying attention. Good. Just before they stepped out of the library Thomas realized the situation they were in, outside wind was beginning to pick up and the sky was opening up as heavy drops of water pelted towards the ground. He could let Alex out in that, the boy was trembling under his hand and he doubted taking him outside would help the situation.

 The bathroom it was.

 

Thankfully the bathroom was only a few strides away, Thomas ushered Alex inside the single disabled bathroom- he couldn’t risk some dude walking in on Alex breaking down beside the urinals. He closed the door behind him. 

Alex looked around the room and then turned his wide doe eyes on Thomas. The rain audibly grew heaver. Alex sat down on the floor, which Thomas grimaced at but he supposed it couldn’t be helped. Thunder boomed, loud enough to shock Thomas and make the floor vibrate ever so slightly. Alexander yelped, and then broke down. He let out a sob, and then another and then hot tear began to drip from his eyes.

Not only was he terrified of thunder but he was so tired, his eyes aches and his fingers felt as though they’d been hit with a hammer! He wanted his Dada, or Papa, or Doudou! 

Thomas cooed, rushing to sit in front of the boy, placing both hands on his shoulders. “Shhhhh its okay Alex, you’re okay, it okay no need to cry.” He said softly. Alex didn’t respond, only crying harder as another boom of thunder rumbled and icy fear climbed up his spine. All the aching of his body fading as the sounds of the storm flooded his senses.

 

He felt like he was back home. _The nearby waves crashing against rock, the sound of metal tearing outside, the forces of nature beating the crap out of his town. Water rising. He was going to drown. He was going to die. Oh God, he didn’t want to die._

Someone knocked on the bathroom door.

 

“Occupied” Thomas called out. Alex flinched at the loud noise.

“Thomas, I saw you an Hamilton come in here.” Fuck.

 Thomas got up and opened the door about a foot, blocking the view of the room with his body. Aaron fucking Burr stood in front of him, his arms crossed with a smug look on his face. “What do you want Burr?”

“Look I just wanted to let you know that if you get caught fucking in here the administration is going to come down on you hard, there have been complaints from some of the faculty and- wait, is everything okay in here?” The smug looked turned to one of concern. Alex was still sitting on the floor crying and while Aaron couldn’t see him, he could hear him.

“Yes, everything’s fine, I’m dealing with it.”

 

“Everything doesn’t sound fine.”

 

“I told you, I’m dealing with it,” Thomas growled, actually growled.

 

Aaron’s eyebrows furrowed together as he studied Thomas’s face. “I think I should really double check.”

 

“I don’t think so.”

 

“Thomas. Let me in.”

 

“No, I don't think I will.”

 

Now, Aaron didn’t want to assume the worst of Jefferson. He considered himself friends with him, but in this instance, he was sure of one thing. He sure as fuck wasn’t just walking away from this. He pushed against the door, barging his way into the bathroom and pushing Jefferson aside. The sight that met him was certainly one to cause alarm, Alex sat on the bathroom floor, his knees drawn up to his chest and hands over his ears, his face was red and tearstained as Hamilton cried and sobbed uncontrollably. Aaron turned towards Jefferson, suddenly full of rage.

“What did you do?” He spoke slowly from behind his teeth.

Jefferson raised his hands defensively. “I didn’t do anything I swear, I knew he was gonna have a breakdown so I brought him in here so it would be in private.”

 

“ _Bullshit_.”

 

“It's the truth!”

 Burr stepped past Jefferson, he’d deal with him later, he squatted down in front of Alex. Alex flinched violently when Burr placed a hand on his shoulder, Burr removed his hand, other than the flinch Alex made no sign of acknowledging Burr’s presence.

“Aaron, he gets really self-conscious of these things, just let me deal with it.”

“You?” Burr scoffed, “You two have declared yourselves enemies how many times now? I assumed you two were coming in here to hate fuck but now I don’t know what to think. But I sure as hit don't think I’m leaving you alone with him. He’s my friend.”

 Jefferson scrubbed his face. He didn’t want to deal with this shit. If only it was Hamilton there crying then he could leave Aaron to deal with this but it was Alex there and Aaron had no idea what he was actually looking at.

 

“I’m gonna one of his partners, see if they can come get him.”

 

“One of his partners?” Burr questioned, frowning at Jefferson.

 

“You seriously consider yourself his friend and you don't know about them? Whatever I’ll see if Laf’ can get here- they work the closest.”

Thomas moved to the edge of the room, leaning against a wall, he pulled out his phone and pressed on Laf’s contact information; keeping watch on Burr as he did so. The man was whispering to Alex, saying stuff about the current presidential administration? Thomas supposed that Aaron believed this would distract Alex, but the kid was still sobbing profusely- Jefferson was beginning to worry that he was going to be sick due to how hard he was sobbing.

 

“Hello?”

“Lafayette” Jefferson sighed in relief, his eyes remained on the two on the floor. He spoke hurriedly in French. “ _Where are you_?”

 _“I’m leaving work now,”_ Lafayette switched to French automatically, Thomas wondered if they were even aware that they had. _“What’s wrong Thomas – make it quick. I really need to get home, this storm… I thought it would be home before it hit and Alexander-“_

_“Alexander is still here, at school.”_

_“What?”_

_“He was studying, and I convinced him to leave but the storm hit and now he’s little-“_

_“He’s little!? Where are you? Is anyone there?”_

_“Library bathroom. Burr’s here.”_

 

“ _Shit, I’ll be able to deal with him when I get there. How is my baby doing?”_

The baby in question had now moved his hands from covering his ears to bunching his hair into fists, pulling as he cried.

 

_“No good.”_

 

 _“Play him music in headphones, so he cannot hear the storm. I’ll be there in half an hour.”_ The line went dead. Jefferson left his phone app and went straight to music and pulled out the playlist he used for his own anxiety- soothing and relaxing classical music. He plugged in his headphones and strode over to the sobbing Alex, Burr was still grasping at straws trying to distract him.

 

“Enough of this shit.” Jefferson directed the comment towards Burr who glowered in response. Taking charge of the situation he placed the earbuds into the ears of the crying child and pressed play- turning the music up loud enough to block out most noise but to not be so loud it would hurt Alex’s ears. He then sat on the floor behind Alex and then pulled him into his lap.

“Jefferson! Don’t! He clearly doesn’t want to be touched right now!” Burr hissed looking as if he wanted to punch Jefferson in the face. In any other situation, Thomas would have found that expression funny.

“Shut up Burr I know what I’m doing.”

 

He wrapped one arm around Alex’s torso, hugging him from behind. For an instant, they boy had tensed getting ready to fight, but he slowly relaxed, leaning against Jefferson's chest.

 Jefferson slowly began to coax Alex’s hands from his hair, he didn’t like the idea of Hamilton having chunks of hair missing – no matter how amusing the image was. Eventually, Alex let go of his hair, he looked up at Jefferson seeing him for the first time since he started crying. He turned his body so he could fully cuddle; he began breathing in time with Thomas, his tears lessening. He could still hear the storm a little bit as it now seemed so far away compared to the pretty music that came from the headphones.

He hadn’t realized it yet, but somewhere in his crying, he had wet himself, the dark stain apparent on his jeans and smell beginning to fill the room.

 

Neither Burr, not Thomas pointed it out. 

No one spoke. Burr, sitting there as his mind went for loops – how was it that Jefferson was not only able to comfort Hamilton but why did Hamilton accept it? Perhaps he was so hysterically upset he didn’t know who was comforting him, but now surely he was aware. Why did he let Jefferson hold him like a kid, rocking ever so slightly with a hand rubbing soothing circles on his back? Why?

 

Jefferson was waiting for something to happen, the other shoe to drop.

Life wasn’t so simple that he and Alex could get away without something happening that would mean he had to explain more than he wanted to. As it stood now he could easily say that storms were a trigger for Hamilton – which they clearly were and that Thomas was aware of it due to his friendship with Lafayette. Nothing would need to be said of Alexander mentally regressing of the mental state of a toddler. Speaking of which-

 

“Alex, don't, don’t chew on your fingers, germs.” He took Alex’s hand by the wrist and gently pulled it out of the kid’s mouth. Ew.

Burr raised an eyebrow, Jefferson made an expression that translated roughly to ‘not now.’

 

Alex looked up at Thomas, his eyes wide. “Tommy?”

 

“Nah,” Thomas smiled shaking his head, “Just annoying old Thomas.”

Alex grunted in reply pressing his head against Thomas’s chest.

 

“Want Dou Dou.”

 

“I know you do, I called them, they should be here soon” Thomas rubbed Alex’s arms reassuringly. The boy brought his hand up to pull the earbud from his ear but Jefferson intercepted it. “Just listen to the music, it’s gonna be all okay.”

 Alex let out a water sigh, shifting his weight and pressing into Jefferson's chest. It was in the moment he became aware of the smell in the room and the itchy dampness of his jeans. His head shot up as he looked at Jefferson in horror. Hot tears began to fill his eyes.

 

Jefferson sighed. Oh no, he was angry he was gonna tell everyone he was gonna hit gonna hit gonna hit!

 

“It’s okay,” Jefferson ran his hand through Alex’s hair. He spoke softly in French, _“Accidents happen, you are only a child, it is okay.”_

Alex frowned rubbing at his eyes, why was he speaking French? Why was he being nice? Before he could ask anything a knock at the door startled him.

 

“Occupied,” Jefferson called out because you know- that worked the first time.

 

“Thomas, it is me.” Lafayette's voice traveled through the door, Alex perked up immediately, looking ready to kick the door down.

“Doudou!”

Jefferson lifted Alex out of his lap and stood, opening the door. Lafayette looked like they had just run a marathon, their pulled back hair full of loose stands which frizzled erratically, their clothes drenched and they panted. Thomas got the strange image of them running through the streets of New York, yelling in French about needing to save their baby.

Laf’ looked past Jefferson, their eyes landing one Alex who stood awkwardly; his arms wrapped around his body and eyes downcast.

 

“Mon Petit!” Laf’ cried, walking forward and enveloping Alex in a hug. They cooed in French as they fussed over him looking like a mother who had found her child climbing a too tall tree and had, for a minute, been terrified for her child’s life. They turned to face the two men before them. “ Thomas, you can go. Thank you for this, I will never forget it. Burr, wait outside.”

 Burr sent Thomas a look that read like ‘dude wtf?!’ but Jefferson ignored him, picked up his bag and strolled out of the bathroom. His job here was done. After a moment's hesitation, Burr scurried out of the bathroom. A part of him thought about just leaving. Laf’ had closed the door behind him, so he really could just walk away and not have to deal with whatever Laf’ was going to do to him. But Laf’ knew where he lived.

 

When did Hamilton start dating Laf’ anyway? Burr had always thought that they were just roommates, now that he thought about it Hamilton had always seemed a little too close with all of his roommates, even going so far to kiss them when drunk… Thomas had said something about partners, plural. He needs to do some serious Facebook stalking when he got home.

 

The bathroom door swung open.

 

Lafayette stood in the doorway, their hang wrapped around Alexanders. The latter didn’t look or say anything to Burr, keeping his eyes fixated on his shoes. Burr took note that he had changed from the soiled jeans to a pair of black sweatpants- it seemed that somehow Laf’ had predicted that Alexander would need a change of clothes.

 

“Aaron I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that you to not speak of what you have seen or heard, but I shall add some incentive.” Laf’s eyes were cold, Burr hadn’t seen this side of them much, but whenever he did he just about shat his pants. “ You dream of a political career yes? Well, if anything about today is said to anyone. You will find yourself knee deep in cocaine, or ice, or meth, or maybe all three, and the cops knocking on your door.”

Burr felt his stomach drop. “Y-You couldn’t-“

“I am a Marquise Burr, you would be surprised at what I am capable of.” Laf’ lead Alex out towards the library exit. “Oh, and by the way, we simply must have some form of get together sometime! A party maybe?” They smiled widely, all negativity gone from their eyes. It was unsettling how quickly they could go from deadly serious and terrifying to a friendly bubbly person. Burr smiled tightly and nodded, words now feeling too heavy for his mouth to form.

 

 

Alex waved, Thomas’s headphones still plugged into his ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tell me what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> yo lemme know what you think of this and what you think will happen
> 
> as always hmu on tumblr https://thatjettkid.tumblr.com/


End file.
